Trust in marriage is something so vital that without it, a home could be in shambles. It is in every simple act that when one spouse begins to give in to his/her suspicious thoughts, it is like detonated time bomb. The issue which would be discussed here is regarding certain acts by spouse could eventually be a pathway for the couple to break apart.
Greetings, and welcome to yet another article at Eighth Canvas!
Marriage, as it is in the biblical terms as an union which was designed for companionship and intimacy.
There are many verses which depict husbands and wives. For one, Colossians 3:19 states that:
19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
The bible also teaches one to be careful in choosing one's spouse which is vital for one's holistic life. Infact, in Proverbs 18:22, it was written :
22Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Moreover, in Deutronomy 7:3-4, it was written :
3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
4For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
Finding a spouse could be hard, but once a person finds 'the one', then as Gods puts it ; he/she have obtained favor from God, Himself.
Just a glance through appendix section in the bible yields about 500 Old and New Testament references to the words "marriage," "married," "husband," and "wife." Yet, so many couples out 
there choose to break apart due to "irreconcilable differences". Bible covers almost every aspect of life. Every problem would definitely have a solution. The issue is whether one chooses to look for one or just opt for an easy way out.
there choose to break apart due to "irreconcilable differences". Bible covers almost every aspect of life. Every problem would definitely have a solution. The issue is whether one chooses to look for one or just opt for an easy way out. Trust, is defined as the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed, or reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. This obligation or reliance is the core essence in two different individuals living together. Once this trust is broken, there's nothing else to strive for in that particular relationship.
The issue in hand would be to what extent does a spouse could go to prove this reliance? Which of these ways are accepted norms or society? or even are acceptable in Gods book of laws.
For some, the need of a certain level of confirmation could be alarming. As an example eavesdropping. In this case, it is very obvious the relationship is not based on mutual trust or respect at all as one of the spouse does not have the reliance on the integrity of his/her spouse.
This could be devastating to the matrimony if it is not resolved in time. Those two aspects (mutual trust and respect) are not just important, they are foundational and fundamental. Without any foundation what little to hold will crumble soon. When at this stage, it is better for the spouse to just unplug the phone and cut their losses while they can still control them. It is a sad situation to think of it.
A friend of mine, say Lisa (anonymous) had a beautiful 
marriage anyone could envy for. One day she had a change of department at work, which had difference on work schedules and shift hours. Due to these changes, her husbands started to develop suspicion over her faithfulness towards him.
marriage anyone could envy for. One day she had a change of department at work, which had difference on work schedules and shift hours. Due to these changes, her husbands started to develop suspicion over her faithfulness towards him. He started to stalk her after working hours and it all went escalating to a point where her husband knew every little things Lisa was doing. Things were going on fine with Lisa until one day she begin suspecting something was terribly wrong with her phone when she realized that her phone had been bugged. In pure panic she begin to track down her stalker eventually leading back to her home GPS location. From that point onwards her marriage went downhill.
It is totally devastating for a spouse to find out not only her husband/wife does not trust her, but 
to make the matter worse, he/she is paranoid about the them could indeed spell for distance in a relationship.
to make the matter worse, he/she is paranoid about the them could indeed spell for distance in a relationship. Once the emotional stress starts to build up then only time could answer what the future may hold.
At times is the paranoia could be of legitimate reason? If one is that paranoid it's most likely for a reason. Once there is a cause, there will be an effect. The trouble only begins when the issue is not resolved, but instead becomes suspicion.
That moment onwards, it would most likely only be a matter of time whether it's now or later. The cornerstone of trust in the marriage is gone. Once this element is no longer present, unless both partners willing to communicate and resolve, the terminal end of the sacred relationship is at the end. Once when there is a space for suspicion to grow, one should resolve it by communicating and addressing the issue with the related party.
A healthy relationship comprises of many, many things. For starters the ability to treat each other with respect, to feel secure and comfortable with each other, non violent relationship, could resolve conflicts satisfactorily, both partners could enjoy the time spent together, supportive of each other, taking interest in each others' lives : health, family, work, etc, the ability to keep the relationship private, could trust each other, are sexual by choice, able to communicate clearly and openly, encourage each other healthy friendships, each partner is honest about the past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate, and tend to have more good times in the relationship than bad.
In every relationship, there are definite possibility of having bad days, arguments, dissatisfaction, and anything else that may be unpleasant. Its is not be all and end all though. All the bad days should be foundations for good days. Should be foundations to loving and trusting each other more.
Till next time,
Take Care
Disclamer and References:
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Definitions taken from Dictionary.com.
Thank you for this great article, FFay! It has brought in some clarity and light into the mess am dealing with right now..I guess rather than "hollering" about it like construction workers, we could talk with some sense. Im with you about putting effort and work into it. I wasn't thinking about it at all..I should have given him the time and space. If I did, probably things wouldn't have been looking this bad for me!